For exaggerated effect: Surveys don’t change sales

Apple says its laptops are selling briskly, better than the previous year, but would you be shocked to find out that a headline disagrees with that? Probably not. You’ve read this column before, right? You’re jaded, Monica. It happens.

Writing for the Forbes contributor network and late night informercial for a miracle urinary tract infection cure for cats, Ewan Spence says “Apple Losing Out As Consumers Reject New MacBook Pro.” (Tip o’ the antlers to @JonyIveParody.)

Don’t bother sending invoices to Forbes, readers. They do not reimburse for spit-take damage done to your screen.

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